Thursday, December 8, 2011

Pandora's Box

Curiosity overcoming her, almost of its own accord Pandora’s hand lifts the lid on the lovely jeweled box. Out fly all the evils of the world as Pandora, overcome with shame and horror, tries to close the lid once more. This she manages to do, but not before all but one of the winged creatures in the box have escaped. The one still trapped? Hope.

It sounds like a crushing end to a tragic situation, doesn’t it? The young woman is overcome with a curiosity implanted in her by the gods; the evils will bring all manner of terrors and trials to all of humanity; and hope, which could sustain people through their adversities, remains trapped inside a locked box. But then you start wondering why hope would be in the box in the first place. It wasn’t like this was a box full of bright and shiny elements designed for the benefit of humans. This was bad stuff, I’m telling you, every awful thing you can imagine, and hope was placed there as purposefully as every one of those bad things. Why? Because hope, too, can be an evil.

We usually elevate hope almost to the level of a sacrament. We admire those who don’t give up in the face of adversity, we see hope as a necessity in building a better world. High apple pie in the sky hope. It’s all good, right? So how could hope ever be anything other than good?

The answer is as simple as desire: we too often pin our hopes on particular outcomes like a package and wrap our ego around it like a bow. Maybe it’s something individualistic like a promotion at our work or a sign of affection from our partners; maybe it’s something that we think of as more noble, like a grant to come through for our favored non-profit or the passage of a law helping victims of abuse. Doesn’t matter how personal and intimate or noble and communal the hope is: the problem is that so often we are like kids anxiously waiting to open our Christmas presents to see if Santa brought that special toy we’ve spent so long wanting.

I said to my soul , be still, and wait without hope,
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing

So says my favorite poet, T.S. Eliot, in a beautiful poem called East Coker. He gets it, he gets how hope itself can become a cage that we use to fend off the real world, how it can become the opposite of mindfulness and acceptance. That strength of will and determination to work toward the best possible outcome that is sometimes shown by those facing adversity or illness – we call it hope, but really it includes a healthy dose of knowing that the ultimate goal may not be reached, that there is integrity and passion and joy in the journey even when the journey does not take us where we want to go. It isn’t ego wrapped around desire, but rather presence wrapped around acceptance. 

For my part, the hope that I strive to give up is far too ego-driven, far too concerned with desired outcomes rather than with learning the lessons of the process. Let Pandora’s box stay closed; like Eliot, I shall wait without hope, letting go of the wants that swirl within and around me so that I may receive the blessing of whatever it is that the universe is sending my way.

1 comment:

  1. I think I have waited to hear these words for a long time, but didn't know how to say these words or if or how these words would appear. With a couple of chronic diseases, people have many a time told me to never give up and to always have hope that I nay get better again or new procedures would be developed and radically change my life. But I remember a few years ago telling people that I no longer wanted new procedures or pills or whatever. I wanted to learn to accept my life as it was and then figure out or become attuned to how I would live my life from that point of acceptance. I did not see myself as giving up hope, I just didn't want to waste energy on what may never be or wait to live my life for what possibly could be. I've realized that there are many times I cannot force my will on my life (or as Cynthia described as ego_driven hope), and sometimes it is better "to be still" and see what unfolds and then move with purpose from there.